Newsletter: Don't let uncontrolled rumination rob you of energy and time

Uncontrolled rumination robs you of energy and time for growth and development.
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Does your mind ever get stuck?

Repeatedly thinking about painful, emotionally negative experiences is significantly unhealthy for many reasons:
  • Increases likelihood of depression by intensifying and prolonging sadness and anger
  • Increases risk for substance / activity abuse (-holisms and disorders).
  • Fosters negative thinking and attitudes and diminishes problem solving.
  • Elevates stress responses and risk for cardiovascular disease.
  • Repeated, prolonged discussions and expressions put excessive burden on relationships.
  • Inhibits positive and productive motivation, initiative, and focus.
It's like picking at scabs and never letting them heal. Pick, scab, pick, scab ad nauseum. Kept up long enough and it not only becomes a habit but also forms a scar. Of course infection can occur as well.

We want to disrupt the cycle as well as address the root cause of the rumination.

How might we do that?
  • Distractions
    • Engage in tasks / activities that will demand your attention
      • moderate to intense cardiovascular activity
      • socializing
      • puzzles, ie. sudoku, jigsaw
      • computer games
      • mental exercises, ie. envisioning a project (home improvement/ work-related)
      • test them out to see which one is most effective at various times and places.
  • Enlarge your perspective
    • See yourself in 3rd person to gain new insights and resolve
      • Close your eyes, imagine the scene; zoom out as events unfold
      • Follow the event from beginning to end.
    • Ask why instead of how; seek to understand multiple paths to action (others and yours).
  • Reframe anger
    • Change the meaning of events to an understanding that makes the event less infuriating. 
    • Exercise:
      1. Find the positive intention in your offender.
      2. Identify the opportunities (for growth, change, improvement) 
      3. Embrace the learning moment: View negative situations as strategic puzzles (of ourselves) that require creative solutions (to fortify and mature us)
      4. View the offending person / hurtful event with a larger, deeper contextual perspective.
      5. A new resolve that redeems [what saddened, disappointed, or victimized you] to spur you in a new direction; a shift in mindset that changes your attitude towards your challenges; changing what you perceived as destructive to actually being helpful.
For more examples and deeper explanations, pick up a copy of Emotional First Aid by Guy Winch.

Gaining control over emotional scab-picking is essential for ongoing maturation, be it personal, professional, or organizational (families, corporations, non-profits, etc). Emotional hygiene is a keystone that mustn't be overlooked, so is physical strength training but we'll save that for another time.

Ready to elevate your leadership, strategy, commitment and execution? Book a complimentary 30-60 minute session and let's chat.

Cecil Wong is a Certified Life Coach from San Francisco, California with over 25 years of experience in leadership and teaching. He works with children, families, individuals, organizations and companies, combining personal and professional development.

Life coaching is all about getting clear about your dreams and putting the practical pieces in place to make them happen. 

Family Connections Coaching is about achieving more of what matters most.

Check out revamped website!

After my husband and I lost our expected triplets, I felt my world turn upside down. I quit my job when I was pregnant and felt depressed and unsettled not having a job to go back to.  The life I had envisioned for myself was no longer going to be a reality. I was having a hard time pulling myself out of the emotional wreck I had allowed myself to become.

I’ve known Cecil since I was his student in the 7th grade and have always been intrigued by his love for the Lord. As I transitioned into my new life, I knew I wanted God to be the center of my life.  I needed someone with a strong faith and knowledge of the Word to guide me, so I started working with Cecil.

During our sessions, Cecil helps me reflect honestly on the issues currently impacting my life, guiding me to dig to the core issues that drive my behavior.  The work I’ve done with Cecil has allowed me to become more relational and transparent with myself, others and God.  Cecil helps me develop obtainable long term and short term action plans.  I’m still a work in progress but am on the right path to living the life God has planned for me.

~J.C., SoCal

 Initially hesitant about engaging a Life Coach, I am so glad I did! Cecil helped bring structure and guidance to my life at a time when I felt like I was juggling too many balls, and doing so poorly. He not only helped me discover the space and power to make my own choices, but he challenged me to see how I could live a life that brought me freedom and joy with some simple changes in perspective. And he always knew when to ask, “What would make this part of your life not just work, but blow your expectations out of the water?” So grateful to be a client of Family Connections Coaching.

~ M.W., SF

More testimonials >

Click on the gorilla for some of
Jim Collins' thoughts about B.H.A.G.'s:
Click this pic for some of my thoughts on a faith BHAG:

Pull the trigger on pursuing the dream of something huge and audacious, that will rock your world and bless your relationships, maybe even change THE world! 


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