What's keeping you out of the black?
- Quick fix mentality?
- Lack of energy to deal with deeper problems?
- Limited cognitive map of your challenge?
- Outdated perception
When we're young, it's about survival and success. We work hard, we do what we can to make a living. But how we move from our 20's to our 30's and 40's will determine how we do in our 50's, and beyond.
To truly last, we can't rely on mindsets running on quick fixes compelled by impatience and scarcity - not enough time, not enough energy, not enough heart. All this does is drive us towards conformity to fit in, to not rock the boat, to be like everyone else.
So what does it take?
They're key. Freed from insecurity, obsession with control, and the limiting beliefs and outdated rules from our cultures and families of origin.
Change is a constant. If you have a family, each member is not the same person they were a year ago; sometimes it's obvious, sometimes not. Regardless, it's happening.
And not just your family, but society is changing with the multiplicative growth of technology. The markets and how business is done are also transitioning to greater sustainability, especially with regards to the emphasis and valuing of social capital - the often overlooked soft skills that build great relationships which result in cultures that grow organizations and companies by 10X and more.
With all that change going on, how well and effectively are you adapting?
How do we get good at it?
Center on growth. Do this with thoughts and actions based on what all people need to become what they can and understanding the stages of development through the human lifespan.
Here's an excerpt from my book A Growth Centered Family (due to come out later this year) on liberated leaders:
"[Trust, autonomy, initiative, industry, identity, intimacy, generativity, and integrity]
A growth-centered family is a team led by leaders who cultivate these 8 qualities. In so doing, they liberate themselves and their children from cultural and family of origin dysfunctions. They’re protected from unhealthy conformities and pressures from those whose souls are based on scarcity rather than sufficiency.
Margaret Heffernan gives powerful, historical examples of unhealthy conformities and pressures in her book, Willful Blindness. She cites devastating tragedies from the following: child abuse of Catholic diocese in Ireland of the late 20th century, the subprime mortgage fallout of the 2000’s under Alan Greenspan, the connection between x-raying pregnant women and children with cancer in the mid 20th century, the Enron scandal, the March 2005, BP refinery explosion in Texas City, Texas, as well as the effects of exhaustion and drive for financial gain.
Essentially, liberating leadership is about growing ongoing maturation of our intrapersonal capacities which empower us to live and work successfully, healthfully, and sustainably with others. The psychosocial stages really help us see the significance of emotional and relational health. When needs (Maslow) are effectively met, the conflicts of each life stage (Erikson) are positively overcome, peace and strength are gained to move onto the next stage. When needs are not met, we’re exposed to the negative outcomes of each stage which get compounded in subsequent stages, contributing to willful blindness and large scale devastation.
Successful execution in these areas depends on how we lead ourselves. Are we leading ourselves towards integration or disintegration? "
Integration? Becoming whole. Whole hearted. Soulful. Transforming our mindset from scarcity to sufficiency. Start by improving how we meet our needs (Maslow's hierarchy), all of them; growing a perspective with courage, patience, kindness, respect, honesty; without envy, arrogance, pettiness, rudeness, keeping score and holding grudges. This is the Bible's definition of real love.
Living this way generates the mindset necessary to be free to lead oneself and others effectively and sustainably. Whether it's parenting problems or work related, pursue growing yourself to be a leader with sights and methods inline with the most desirable, longest term outcomes.